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Your Guide to Dominating International Joke Day

“If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.”


July 1st is International Joke Day, so we’re sharing some of our favorite jokes to make you chuckle and get the party started.


Q: What did the ocean say to the pirate?
A: Nothing, it just waved.

Q: What do you call a lost parrot?
A: A polygon.

Q: Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?
A: Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.

Q: What did the cheeseburger name it’s daughter?
A: Patty.

Q: Where do sharks go on summer vacation?
A: Finland!

Q: Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?
A: Because they spend years at “C”!

Q: Why was it so hot in the stadium after the Jimmy Buffett concert?
A: Because all the fans left!

Q: Why did the crab cross the road?
A: To get to the other tide.

Q: What do palm trees wear to the beach?
A: Swimming trunks!

Q: Why couldn’t the pirate crew play cards?
A: Because the captain was standing on the deck!

Q: Why don’t oysters give to charity?
A: Because they’re shellfish.

Q: Why do bananas use sunscreen?
A: Because they peel.

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of movie?
A: Rated Arrrrrrrrgh

Q: How do you make a sick sailboat better?
A: Take it to the doc.

Q: How much did the pirate pay for his piercings?A: A buck-an-ear!

Q: Where do dolphins keep their money?
A: In their octopurse.

Q: What do fish use for money?
A: Sand dollars!

Q: What do turtles use to communicate?
A: A shellphone!

Q: What do you call a famous turtle?
A: A shellebrity.

Q: What do you get when you cross a volcano and a light bulb?
A: A lava lamp!

Q: Why do fish swim in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!

Q: What’s the coldest tropical island?
A: Brrr-muda